I had never experienced a loss that deep before. The pain wasn’t something I could prepare for—it wasn’t just grief. It was everything. A tidal wave of memory, regret, and raw emotion. I found myself revisiting my childhood, questioning things I had long buried. I felt guilt. I blamed myself in quiet ways, even though I knew it wasn’t mine to carry. I kept wishing she hadn’t gone the way she did—so suddenly, without warning. I longed for more time. For one more conversation. For a different ending.