· SHAY OF VANCOUVER ·

What do you do when your compliment collides with someone else’s scarcity mindset? That moment revealed something I had not fully understood before. In close relationships, opening my heart to another person does not always connect me solely to their true self. It also brings me face to face with their learned patterns, their constrained […]

What if the people we love most are unknowingly teaching us that we’re not worth showing up for? I spent 45 minutes in a restaurant teaching someone exactly that. It was my friend’s birthday. I invited her out to dinner, a small gesture of care, a desire to celebrate her. I chose the place, made […]

“The moment you notice a connection between events, you start to believe it’s all somehow cosmic,” my husband said once. “Like they’re happening for you.” His words stuck with me. They carried an unspoken criticism that maybe I assign too much meaning to ordinary events. That maybe I see divine purpose where there’s only coincidence. […]

I have been watching myself in friendships lately. More precisely, I have been watching what they cost me. The awareness arrived like dawn: gradual, then sudden. In the space between conversations, I began to notice the exhaustion. How I left interactions feeling hollowed out. How I said yes when everything in me whispered no. How […]

Have you ever felt an instant irritation toward someone’s confidence? Not arrogance, just a natural ease? There’s always someone who speaks up in meetings without hesitation, sets boundaries without lengthy explanations, and takes up space as if they belong. And something inside you reacts. You might tell yourself they’re “too much” or “full of themselves.” […]

I never dreamed about marriage. After twelve years together, Zac and I had built a life we loved, complete with our rituals, shared jokes, and that quiet understanding that only comes from truly knowing someone. We’d weathered highs and lows, but underneath it all, we were happy, committed, and solid. So when people asked if […]

A personal reflection on breaking free from the approval trap and finding my own voice There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from living your entire life for someone else’s approval. I know it intimately, and only recently did I start to understand where it truly came from. I was watching a video called […]

My mother’s sisters. That’s the truth I rarely say aloud. They frustrate me in ways that go deeper than annoyance, taking up space I can’t quite name. I watch them disappear into their marriages. See how they shrink when their husbands speak, adjusting their clothes, their voices, even their laughter to fit whatever box they’ve […]

Do you have that friend who somehow hijacks your good news and turns it into their personal therapy session? The one who asks “How are you?” then launches into their own monologue before you can even open your mouth? Yeah. Me too. For years, I told myself I was just being a compassionate listener. What […]

If this is your first time reading my blog, my mother died on Christmas Day 2024. In early 2025 I went back to Montreal to take care of her estate and sell her house. I stayed in Montreal for close to three months. My blog posts are inspired by that time I stayed in Montreal. […]